Lessons in Gratitude
In all circumstance give thanks; for this is the will of God for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:18
There are so many platitudes about gratitude that it’s possible to become somewhat jaded about the concept.
“What if the only things you had today were the things you thanked God for yesterday?”
“It is not happy people who are thankful. It is thankful people who are happy.”
“There is always, always something to be thankful for.”
Yes of course there is something to be thankful for and mostly we are dutifully thankful in our prayers and attitudes. But secretly, don’t we occasionally think that our life is especially difficult? Perhaps on a particular day or when we have to deal with a particular person? And secretly, don’t we occasionally think that others have just a little bit more to be grateful for? I used to feel this way but then I got an education in what true gratitude looks like.
Recently, while discussing the merits of a particular choir, a lady chimed in with advice given to her by a former parish priest. He told her to thank God for the gift of hearing each time she was tempted to react to an off-key note. I was struck by this unusual way of looking at a potentially annoying situation – a kind of ‘reverse-gratitude’. Not “Thank you God that I’m not a poor singer!” but “Thank you God for the pleasure of music that makes everyone want to join in.”
While pondering this admittedly Pollyanna-ish viewpoint, I chanced to meet an acquaintance who is relentlessly optimistic. Despite painful knee problems and a past mottled with financial and family insecurity, she always looks on the bright side. Many times I have heard her say “I never complain, I am always grateful” (which is true). However, this time she surprised me by going one step further. As she massaged her wrist, she explained in answer to my question, that it had been broken by her ex-husband and had not set properly. It hurt all the time. It was, she said, a reminder of all that was good in her life. At first I wasn’t sure I heard her correctly. Was her chronic pain a cause for joy? Yes she assured me, the pain was minor in comparison to how happy her life was now.
I think this is what St. Paul meant when he exhorted the Thessalonians to be happy in all circumstances. The ‘good’ and the ‘bad’ as we define them - or as society tries to define them for us - have no currency in God’s plan. God’s will for us transcends bad luck or ill health. God alone knows the reason for and the outcome of suffering. Perhaps, as Pope John Paul II says in his apostolic letter Salvifici Doloris (On the Christian Meaning of Human Suffering):
“…every human suffering, by reason of the loving union with Christ, completes the suffering of Christ. It completes that suffering just as the Church completes the redemptive work of Christ.”
Speaking of the Church, we tend to think of our parishes as places where we are called to give rather than receive. But that was where I was gifted with yet another lesson in thankfulness. At Our Lady of Assumption church I noticed an elderly woman struggling up the sidewalk. Her daughter had to drop her off some distance from the door because all the parking places close by were taken. Using a cane and leaning heavily on the arm of an usher, she painfully took a seat at the very back of the church. I slipped quickly around her into the last pew just as Mass began. Throughout Mass I heard her soft sighs of pain, or at least I assumed she was in pain. Eventually she was given communion whereupon she promptly burst into tears! Alarmed, I asked her daughter who sat beside me what was wrong. “Nothing’s wrong,” the daughter said. “She cries for joy every time she receives the Eucharist.” That was a lesson in gratitude that I will never forget.
In all circumstance give thanks; for this is the will of God for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:18
There are so many platitudes about gratitude that it’s possible to become somewhat jaded about the concept.
“What if the only things you had today were the things you thanked God for yesterday?”
“It is not happy people who are thankful. It is thankful people who are happy.”
“There is always, always something to be thankful for.”
Yes of course there is something to be thankful for and mostly we are dutifully thankful in our prayers and attitudes. But secretly, don’t we occasionally think that our life is especially difficult? Perhaps on a particular day or when we have to deal with a particular person? And secretly, don’t we occasionally think that others have just a little bit more to be grateful for? I used to feel this way but then I got an education in what true gratitude looks like.
Recently, while discussing the merits of a particular choir, a lady chimed in with advice given to her by a former parish priest. He told her to thank God for the gift of hearing each time she was tempted to react to an off-key note. I was struck by this unusual way of looking at a potentially annoying situation – a kind of ‘reverse-gratitude’. Not “Thank you God that I’m not a poor singer!” but “Thank you God for the pleasure of music that makes everyone want to join in.”
While pondering this admittedly Pollyanna-ish viewpoint, I chanced to meet an acquaintance who is relentlessly optimistic. Despite painful knee problems and a past mottled with financial and family insecurity, she always looks on the bright side. Many times I have heard her say “I never complain, I am always grateful” (which is true). However, this time she surprised me by going one step further. As she massaged her wrist, she explained in answer to my question, that it had been broken by her ex-husband and had not set properly. It hurt all the time. It was, she said, a reminder of all that was good in her life. At first I wasn’t sure I heard her correctly. Was her chronic pain a cause for joy? Yes she assured me, the pain was minor in comparison to how happy her life was now.
I think this is what St. Paul meant when he exhorted the Thessalonians to be happy in all circumstances. The ‘good’ and the ‘bad’ as we define them - or as society tries to define them for us - have no currency in God’s plan. God’s will for us transcends bad luck or ill health. God alone knows the reason for and the outcome of suffering. Perhaps, as Pope John Paul II says in his apostolic letter Salvifici Doloris (On the Christian Meaning of Human Suffering):
“…every human suffering, by reason of the loving union with Christ, completes the suffering of Christ. It completes that suffering just as the Church completes the redemptive work of Christ.”
Speaking of the Church, we tend to think of our parishes as places where we are called to give rather than receive. But that was where I was gifted with yet another lesson in thankfulness. At Our Lady of Assumption church I noticed an elderly woman struggling up the sidewalk. Her daughter had to drop her off some distance from the door because all the parking places close by were taken. Using a cane and leaning heavily on the arm of an usher, she painfully took a seat at the very back of the church. I slipped quickly around her into the last pew just as Mass began. Throughout Mass I heard her soft sighs of pain, or at least I assumed she was in pain. Eventually she was given communion whereupon she promptly burst into tears! Alarmed, I asked her daughter who sat beside me what was wrong. “Nothing’s wrong,” the daughter said. “She cries for joy every time she receives the Eucharist.” That was a lesson in gratitude that I will never forget.