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I Know I Can Do Better

Bt Richard Burke
Picture
I know I’m not alone in the parish – I can’t remember when I last went to confession. It’s not that I haven’t thought about it, but I admit I fumble a bit on how to approach the sacrament of Reconciliation, even though I accept I have sinned. 

So I sought some help from the Pope. Well, not directly – I stumbled upon his advice in a pamphlet called Safeguard the Heart on preparing for confession during Lent. Of course, he briefly explained why people should go to confession: “Because we are all sinners.”

“How often do bad thoughts, bad intentions, jealousy, envy enter (our hearts)?” To guard against that, he suggests protecting our hearts “just as you protect your home, with a lock.” 

He offers 30 questions we can ask ourselves when we examine our consciences, among them, am I embarrassed to show that I am a Christian? (Not sure); am I honest and fair with everyone? (I try, but probably fail sometimes); do I respect the environment? (I could say yes, but know I often I fall short.)

Each question caught my attention, some more than others, as they apply to my being more or less Christian.  A day after I had read the advice, as I drove behind a particularly slow driver on Mayor Magrath Drive, I was fairly certain he would make it through the next traffic light, but due to his lack of speed, I wouldn’t. I was right. And I reacted angrily.

I knew instantly my anger was wrong, misplaced, petty, pretty much not Christian: I can’t say for that moment I loved the driver in front of me, nor myself for my reaction.  Pope Francis, under a category For our Neighbour, asked, am I envious, hot-tempered, biased? I know forgiveness, I have understanding, do I help my neighbor? Do I judge without mercy both in thought and in words? 

In that situation I was certainly hot-tempered and biased, maybe even envious that he got through the light and I didn’t. I showed no mercy – I was certain the other driver was in the wrong and I got hot under the collar. Fortunately, he didn’t experience my venting – he was long gone.

The experience gave me pause to think about how I behave in general, and, more specifically, other times I have expressed, if not out-right anger at least an annoyance and judgment at someone else’s actions or point of view. And even though in my head I understand the futility of a vent, that it’s counterproductive and even un-Christian, I choose to reveal my human wilfulness.

I know I can do better, and I continue to ask for God’s help.

For more information on the pamphlet Safeguard your heart, go to http://thedialog.org/?tag=lent  and scroll down to Pope Francis offers advice on preparing for confession during Lent.


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