Not my holiday – How to handle the holly when you aren’t feeling jolly
by Alice Matisz
Many years ago, my husband and I found ourselves at a hospital emergency department very early on Christmas morning with a croup-stricken baby. We were panicked and bleary-eyed after hours without sleep. The ER was sparsely staffed but a solemn young man attended to our daughter who was soon breathing more easily. Upon being thanked with apologies for interrupting his Christmas, the taciturn doctor replied, “I don’t care, it’s not my holiday.”
The doctor explained he was Jewish but I’ve suspected ever since that other people feel similarly out-of-step with mainstream society at Christmas. Everywhere we turn during the avariciously-extended Commercial Christmas season we are bombarded with congestion, coercion, garish displays, discordant music, unrealistic expectations, false gaiety, phony philanthropy and familial frustration. Then there is the Christian Christmas which can be equally unbearable when one is sad or mad. Nativities, hymns, celebrations, even prayer itself, can seem cold and dry. So whatever the reasons why we might feel un-Christmassy - and there are so many reasons in our broken world - here are some ideas for making it through the month.
Blue Christmas
Some parishes hold Blue Christmas services on the longest night e.g. Southminister United church in Lethbridge. These include prayer and reflection upon the constant presence of God in difficult times. One beautiful ceremony which can be conducted at home or in a small group can be found at http://sacraparental.com/2014/12/23/a-blue-christmas-service-if-youre-hurting-at-christmas/
Then wear blue during the season so others might recognize a kindred spirit.
Psalm 34:19 “The Lord is close to the broken-hearted, he saves those whose spirit is crushed.”
Candy-striped Christmas
Being in hospital over Christmas can be worse than being in hospital at other times. It’s either extremely quiet which accentuates loneliness, or overly jolly which magnifies illness by contrast. So consider stopping by with small gifts (food treats are a minefield) and a bright smile. A call ahead or quick stop at the nursing station will ensure your visit is appreciated.
Isaiah 41:10 “Fear not, I am with you; be not dismayed; I am your God.”
Black Christmas
Take poinsettias to the cemetery and place them on the grave of a loved one, or a grave which looks forgotten. Appreciate the peaceful ambience.
John 11:25 “I am the resurrection and the life; whoever believes in me, even if he dies, will live…”
Orange Christmas
Visit or write to those in prison. Visiting a correctional centre is almost impossible unless one actually knows an inmate, but writing a letter of support and including some inspirational reading is doable. Give your contribution to the prison chaplaincy team ℅ the parish office. For the past several years All Saints Parish has been contributing goodies to be included in the Lethbridge Correctional Centre's Christmas Treat Bag Event. This year the event takes place on December 19, so any cards or letters should be dropped off prior to that.
Don’t forget other shut-ins too. I have a friend who visits a particular nursing home every Dec 25. He introduces himself to the staff and asks who might need company that day. Then he knocks on doors and asks if the occupant would like a visitor. He says for the most part, he simply listens to amazing stories told by amazing people.
Hebrews 13:3 “Be mindful of prisoners as if sharing their imprisonment …”
Multi-coloured Christmas
Reach out to people of different faiths (think neighbours, acquaintances, foreign students, refugees, etc.) by inviting them to your house or to a parish event. Many non-Christians or unchurched families would love to experience traditional church events but don’t feel comfortable going on their own.
Hebrews 13:2 “Do not neglect hospitality, for through it some have unknowingly entertained angels.”
Finally, a reminder to those who love everything about Christmas, to please be considerate of those who aren’t feeling merry. No cheering up is necessary, nor pity either. Jesus is close to each one of us and perhaps closest of all to those who suffer.
The doctor explained he was Jewish but I’ve suspected ever since that other people feel similarly out-of-step with mainstream society at Christmas. Everywhere we turn during the avariciously-extended Commercial Christmas season we are bombarded with congestion, coercion, garish displays, discordant music, unrealistic expectations, false gaiety, phony philanthropy and familial frustration. Then there is the Christian Christmas which can be equally unbearable when one is sad or mad. Nativities, hymns, celebrations, even prayer itself, can seem cold and dry. So whatever the reasons why we might feel un-Christmassy - and there are so many reasons in our broken world - here are some ideas for making it through the month.
Blue Christmas
Some parishes hold Blue Christmas services on the longest night e.g. Southminister United church in Lethbridge. These include prayer and reflection upon the constant presence of God in difficult times. One beautiful ceremony which can be conducted at home or in a small group can be found at http://sacraparental.com/2014/12/23/a-blue-christmas-service-if-youre-hurting-at-christmas/
Then wear blue during the season so others might recognize a kindred spirit.
Psalm 34:19 “The Lord is close to the broken-hearted, he saves those whose spirit is crushed.”
Candy-striped Christmas
Being in hospital over Christmas can be worse than being in hospital at other times. It’s either extremely quiet which accentuates loneliness, or overly jolly which magnifies illness by contrast. So consider stopping by with small gifts (food treats are a minefield) and a bright smile. A call ahead or quick stop at the nursing station will ensure your visit is appreciated.
Isaiah 41:10 “Fear not, I am with you; be not dismayed; I am your God.”
Black Christmas
Take poinsettias to the cemetery and place them on the grave of a loved one, or a grave which looks forgotten. Appreciate the peaceful ambience.
John 11:25 “I am the resurrection and the life; whoever believes in me, even if he dies, will live…”
Orange Christmas
Visit or write to those in prison. Visiting a correctional centre is almost impossible unless one actually knows an inmate, but writing a letter of support and including some inspirational reading is doable. Give your contribution to the prison chaplaincy team ℅ the parish office. For the past several years All Saints Parish has been contributing goodies to be included in the Lethbridge Correctional Centre's Christmas Treat Bag Event. This year the event takes place on December 19, so any cards or letters should be dropped off prior to that.
Don’t forget other shut-ins too. I have a friend who visits a particular nursing home every Dec 25. He introduces himself to the staff and asks who might need company that day. Then he knocks on doors and asks if the occupant would like a visitor. He says for the most part, he simply listens to amazing stories told by amazing people.
Hebrews 13:3 “Be mindful of prisoners as if sharing their imprisonment …”
Multi-coloured Christmas
Reach out to people of different faiths (think neighbours, acquaintances, foreign students, refugees, etc.) by inviting them to your house or to a parish event. Many non-Christians or unchurched families would love to experience traditional church events but don’t feel comfortable going on their own.
Hebrews 13:2 “Do not neglect hospitality, for through it some have unknowingly entertained angels.”
Finally, a reminder to those who love everything about Christmas, to please be considerate of those who aren’t feeling merry. No cheering up is necessary, nor pity either. Jesus is close to each one of us and perhaps closest of all to those who suffer.